A little fun for the day

So I received an entry form for a new Sprint phone contest. They wanted a creative essay on what you could do fast. Here is my silliness:

Can you sedate an ocelot in 4 minutes? I can. Within in 30 minutes I can have that spotted feline radio-collared (she'll be the talk of the thornscrub forest with that sexy "necklace"), measurements taken (don't worry, we won't tell the boy ocelots her girth, weight or age), and samples taken (a girl's gotta protect her DNA, eh?). Lickety split this sleek pussy cat is curled up inside a killer crib (okay, so it's a pet carrier, don't tell her that) where she can sleep it off in a nice, quiet spot (get it, spots? Hee hee). So in the time it could take me to run a mile (maybe I could have done a 4 minute mile when I was 15!), I can cross another check mark off for conservation. This sweet, spotted ocelot's collar will tell us scientists lots of juicy info on her whereabouts, like where she likes to dine out and who she likes to dine with. Oh yeah, we know of her dirty secrets. And all that gossip will help us make management decisions for this beautiful, but very endangered wild cat. And it all started with 4 sleepy minutes and one tiny stick in the leg. Not bad. And don't worry, she won't remember us a bit as she streaks off into the brush with her new shiny collar.

And of course, I can't do all of that alone. Gotta credit AC for his work! Technically, I'm still sedating bobcats and raccoons. Two more successful bobcats and then I'm qualified to sedate ocelots. Safety first for the cats!